Until that night, when everything changed and I finally became someone.
Someone Carson might actually care about, as much as I cared about him.
But the cost of being someone is more than anyone can imagine. For every moment, there’s a price to pay. For every party. For every choice made. For every kiss.
Ultimately, living a life of PURE ECSTASY might be no different from not living at all.
Kindle Edition, 208 pages
Expected publication: June 2nd 2015 by Simon Pulse
Genre: Young Adult
I received an advanced readers copy from Simon Pulse via Edelweiss in exchange for an honest review. Thank you!
When I began reading this book I wasn't sure what to think. It is written in the form of a journal which I am sometimes a fan of but I found it to be a little choppy. The writing was average and could be annoying at times. I think this was in an effort to make it seem like an authentic journal written by a teenage girl. The other thing that I worried about was that it was glorifying drug use. Everything was rainbows and unicorns and I couldn't help thinking about what it would look like to a young and naive reader. I really didn't need to worry so much about that because as the story unfolded things began to fall apart and the terrible, scary and unforgiving side of drug use came to the forefront.
I think that a lot of teens will be able to relate to the main character in this book. Feeling like you are average or invisible in a setting where popularity is everything or lying in the shadows of a sibling. Most teenagers want to be accepted and fight within themselves to find that place where they belong. This is where there can be an appeal to using drugs for some people as they lose their self consciousness and find courage to do things they normally wouldn't. This was the case with the main character in this book. It didn't take long though for the experiences she had on ecstasy or "molly" to go from what she considered positive to some pretty terrible experiences. From socially inappropriate behaviour to risky sexual experiences, she went through them all.
There are lessons within this story and content that is worthy of conversation as well. I found a terrible sadness for the characters and events towards the end of the book but it was a necessary sadness. The book needed to go in the direction that it did to drive home the terrible impact of drug use on everyone it surrounds. I thought it was very effective.
Although the voice of the main character was sometimes annoying to read I think the message cut through it and I think it delivered a fairly realistic story about teenage drug use.
About the Author
Lena Horowitz was born and raised in New York City, where she became familiar with the party scene at a young age. Now she lives in Brooklyn with her husband, two young daughters, and a playful cat named Hope. She’s no longer in the party scene (unless you count princess tea parties), but she still enjoys the occasional EDM dance session.